Wellspring Women’s Ministry Blog and Online Community

This week we have a beautiful post written by a friend of mine.  In it she shares her journey with God; her ongoing transformation of Jesus turning her heart from a wasteland to a garden.  I felt like it would be a fresh word for all of us, though, because isn’t this what God does with all of his kids?  Read it and enjoy it!

Hi, my name is Debbie Lennon.

In the last couple of years, I’ve been on a journey to discovering my true authentic self in Christ.  Actually, it’s been a life-long journey, but it’s been rather intense within the last couple of years.

Let me explain:  If there is one word that describes my growing up years, it’s CONFUSION.  From a very early age, I was confused about my identity as a person, as a girl, and as a woman.  I felt deeply ashamed to admit this to anyone including myself.  Well, I knew I was confused, but I kept judging myself to be stupid and that I need to “get with the program.”

I thought I was confused because of my profound hearing loss.  I lost my hearing at the age of 3 for reasons still unknown, and as a young girl, I thought people talked funny because I could never understand what they were saying!  This created a lot of comical moments for my parents and teachers as they worked with me to re-establish my vocabulary and practice my listening skills.  The extraordinary length my parents took to help me gain footing in a hearing world is the very reason that I am able to function as well as I do (my father had actually gotten a new engineering job after he graduated from college and he asked for a one month extension before he started his career so he and my mother could invest their time working with me).

So I knew I was loved.

However, as I grew older, it became apparent to my family and to me that I was deeply confused about who I was, what my dreams were, and how I felt about things.  I had relied on my mom to help me navigate my way through childhood and adolescence.  For some reason, I lacked the ability to form my own thoughts, my own opinions, and to forge my own independence.

Through my mother’s influence (and Billy Graham), I became a Christian when I was 14, but it wasn’t until my early college years that I really began to understand what it meant to “be saved.”  From that point on, God began to painstakingly reveal Himself to me.  In the process, He began to reveal what was in my heart.  He revealed that it was a vast wasteland, void of deep emotional roots and that this was the reason for my confusion.  This was painful for me to accept. I was deeply embarrassed & ashamed to admit this.

With His grace, I was able to go on to lead a successful career as a trainer and a teacher working with special needs students.  I developed a wide circle of friends.  I mean, I led a privileged life – so how could my heart be a wasteland?  I felt like something was wrong with me.  I confessed, I repented, I prayed, I received prayers and yet, I still felt stuck in this wasteland.  I thought it was my fault.

God patiently took me on a journey to explore my heart.  He revealed to me that I had experienced early hidden trauma in my life.  I struggled with His revelations and wanted to die.  Last fall, He gently told me in a dream that He wanted me to join Him in the “desert.”  I didn’t want to go.  My life felt like a wasteland and He wanted me to go into the desert??  But I submitted to Him and waited to see what he would reveal to me there.  It was hard.  But I tell you, it has been life-transforming.

It seemed to me that once I began my journey with Him in the desert, everything in my life kind of went south.  My teaching career became a tragedy of sorts as I struggle to meet confusing federal and state mandates.  My old friendships dried up for inexplicable reasons.  My family relationships became distant as each of us went on to lead our own lives.  I began to question – once again – who am I?  What is the purpose of my life?

One day, I was reading my Bible and came across this verse in Matthew 8:20.  Jesus was responding to a scribe who told Him that he would follow Him wherever he went.  And Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.”  This really puzzled me.  Why would He speak in riddles to someone who wanted to follow Him?  I asked God to reveal what He meant.

And He did.  God revealed to me that when Jesus came to us, He did not have an agenda of His own except to do His Father’s will.  In other words, he didn’t have a peg to “hang His hat on.”  He did not promote His own agenda of theology points or philosophy.  He did not rely on his own heritage or career as a carpenter to define Who He was.  He submitted Himself to the trials and tribulations of the Roman government.  He did not even defend Himself to His own people.  His whole identity rested in the knowledge that He was the beloved Son of God.

This really resonated with me.  It dawned on me that I was going to have to let go of the things that I relied on to give me my identity.  God had already prepared the way for me to do that as it seemed that everything in my life was already going south and they were no longer sustaining my identity as a worthwhile person.  This was a painful process for me because I realized that as a single person, I could not rest in my identity as a wife, a mother, a Godly woman – not even as a teacher or a faithful daughter or friend.

So what was left for me?  Back to my confusion – Who was I and what is my purpose in life? Do I have anything to live for?  I came in possession of a book called “Transformed into Fire: An Invitation to Life in the True Self” by Judith Hougen.  God used this profound book to reveal and cement my true identity in Him.

And this is what I wanted to share with you: We are His Beloved.  Another book, “Life of the Beloved” by Henri J.M. Nouwen expounds this point in a more succinct manner.  I encourage you to read both books for a greater understanding of this truth: We are His Beloved.

God revealed this profound truth to me last spring.  It is still relevant to me today and it has finally brought me a measure of peace after a lifetime of confusion.  My wasteland is slowly transforming into His garden.

I also feel that God wants me – and you – to know that if we truly accept our identity as His Beloved who submits to His rule and Kingdom, it will very likely bring polarizing reactions from the community as He uses us to expand his Kingdom.  This was certainly true during Jesus’ ministry on Earth.  Many will be drawn to Him by His astounding love through us.  Others will resent us, because they will think “How dare we believe that we are special?” Let us take hold of this Word and allow it work in us.  Don’t allow our earthly identities deflect who we really are in Christ.  I believe it will carry us far as we go outside of our comfort zone to reach the lost within our community.

Thank you and I say to you….Go with God….

I (Gloria )got the message that follows from one of our Wellspring intercessors. I think she is hearing from God about some ways that God wants to prepare our hearts for this year’s conference so I decided to post it here to reach more people. The message is really true for life in general as well as for the conference so, whether you plan to attend Wellspring 2009 or not, I encourage you to read this and take it to heart. I would also love to hear your comments.

The other day, the Lord spoke this to me: “Breakthrough prayer is personal! Let’s get personal and see a breakthrough!” I recalled 2 Kings 4 when Elisha had developed a relationship with the Shunammite woman and her family, staying in their home, sharing meals, seeing a child brought to her, etc. When the child became ill, Elisha says, “she is troubled in her soul, and the Lord has hidden it from me.” He knows the Lord could have told him, but instead the woman was required to seek him out, in faith and friendship. When Elisha’s servant goes ahead of him, healing doesn’t come. The breakthrough comes when the long-time, trusted friend, Elisha, arrives and, in a very personal way — mouth to mouth, eye to eye, body stretched out on the boy — raises up the boy.

Regarding finances, I suspect many women have looked at their budget and resigned themselves to staying home. They have not made their desire to go to the conference known to their husbands. If their hubby knew, he would rearrange things and have heavenly wisdom to get his wife to the retreat. It would be great if husbands knew it was happening and insisted their wives go!!

One of the strengths of Wellspring has always been the relationships that are formed among the women. It’s always as though God spreads a special covering of safety over the conference so that women are eager to help one another and open to receive help from one another. By the time we are grown up, almost everyone has experienced betrayal of one kind or another so that we do not find it easy to trust again. But as I begin to open my heart to God, I find that He graces me to open my heart to His people as well, especially to my sisters. So I encourage all of us not have guarded hearts toward one another and especially not toward the Lord. We serve a Lord Who loves us better than we can ever love ourselves. And everything He has for us is good!

On the word about finances: The women who have been serving behind our information tables at Manna on Sunday morning tell me that an unusual number of men have been stopping by to get information on the conference because they want their wives to go! Interesting . . .

As I thought about what to write this week, I realized that there is nothing I could share that is better than the word below that I read yesterday.  It expresses well what has been on my heart.  I’ve been weary of certain things from past seasons.  I’m tired of the devil getting more credit than he should.  Giving him place where no place should be given.  And while I’m also personally tired of (as an intercessor) of talking about birthing, transition, being pregnant with promises of God, etc.  (I’ve been hearing this kind of talk for years and not seeing many babies born), the reality is that we go through transitions all the time, living as ever changing children of God in a physical world.  We really are currently in a time of change and with change comes certain difficulties.  It should be no surprise.

No change in my life has come without pain.  I have come to greatly value the results that the pain of change brings.  The humbling and breaking of my own proud, selfish heart.  I cherish it and if any hardship is from the devil, than I do give him credit for being responsible for pushing me closer to the King of this world  HA! and having my heart and life changed to be more like Him.  Isn’t it wonderful that the devil is a tool in the hand of God?  I hope you enjoy this word as much as I did.  

Sue

“Invitation to a New Season”

by Shelly Kalenius of Extreme Prophetic Ministries

Apr 27, 2009 

Recently, I had the honor to participate in the birth of our second grandson Ethan. As I watched my daughter Sarah go through the different stages of birth, the Lord gave me a picture. There are several stages of labor, but the one He spoke to me about was “transition.” 

Transition is the most difficult phase of labor, as the contractions are stronger and longer than earlier contractions and they prepare for the final push. Many physical and emotional symptoms may occur during transition such as dizziness, trembling, nausea, anger, and surprisingly, despair. The pain is so intense and the task of getting that baby out seems so impossible that the mother may lose hope and sight of the goal for a short time. Pain can change our perspective and behavior in ways we could not imagine.

I will never forget Sarah’s words during this time, “I can’t do this anymore…I don’t want to do it…I don’t want to be here! Can I stop now?” These words tore at my heart. I wanted to take the pain away, but it was not my battle. What I did do is pray, encourage her, tell her she could do it, persuade her to keep up the good fight and remind her how close to the goal she was. She needed to make it through this transition in order to move to the next stage, the actual birth.

Over the last several years, we’ve been blessed to live in a time of spiritual awakening to the hidden things of God, the supernatural realm of the Spirit, signs, wonders and miracles. I believe in these last two years we entered into a major transition. We have been, and continue to be, tested, shaken, and pruned. The whole earth, the economy, and the Body of Christ are being shaken and sifted. 

In this season, our love for one another has been tested. It has been a time of learning how to “go low” and prefer others above ourselves. These are key lessons to learn, because Love is the foundation that will stand during this next season.

Like transition during the physical birthing process, I believe we are moving into an even more intense level of transition. There will be a time of tremendous pressure as we draw a line in the sand, choosing to stand for righteousness and justice, for mercy and grace. We must choose this road if we want to press forward. We must understand and count the cost of this choice. We need to listen for the cries that will come with this transition, “I can’t do this anymore…I don’t want to do it. I don’t want to be here! Can I stop now? This hurts too much!”

If we understand some of the by-products of transition can be despair, loss of hope and anguish, we can choose to come alongside people, encouraging them to fight the good fight, to remember the prize at the end of the race, and to help them through the hard places. We are all human and all going through this together. Who knows? It could be me or you crying out. We need each other and we need accountability. The pressure of birthing, of changing and transforming into the likeness of Christ is not for the faint of heart. Together, with God’s mercy and grace, we can finish this race.

Our Prayer: Thank you, Father, that You are the Master Gardener, pruning us when necessary so we will yield good fruit. We offer our hearts to You as we enter this new season.

We Decree that:

• There is no compromise in our level of love and mercy and we will not waver from the truth.

“But You, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abundant in loving-kindness and truth.”—Psalm 86:15

• Through God’s mercy, healing is coming to those in the Body of Christ who have been wounded by us or others in the Body. We speak restoration, wholeness and unity, in Jesus’ name.

“Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.”—James 5:16

• We walk in love with one another, putting aside fleshly judgment, preferring one another to ourselves.

“Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor.”—Romans 12:10

• We choose to walk a very clear line, committing to be an example of His righteousness.

“O LORD, lead me in Your righteousness because of my foes; make Your way straight before me.”—Psalm 5:8

• We take a stand for morality and will walk with and for God. We stand for His truth and righteousness (in love), and we ask God to help us so we will not disqualify ourselves by stepping into judgment or the anger of man.

“For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you.”—Matthew 7:2

• Conviction and clarity will come to the Body, and unrighteousness and lawlessness will be revealed and dealt with.

“Love…does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth.”—1 Corinthians 13:6

• We submit ourselves to God’s shepherding in this new season we are entering into.

“So he shepherded them according to the integrity of his heart, and guided them with his skillful hands.”—Psalm 78:72

• We embrace the finished work of the Cross and ask forgiveness for pride in our own ability to fulfill what is right.

“But He was pierced through for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the chastening for our well-being fell upon Him, and by His scourging we are healed.”—Isaiah 53:5

• We depend on God’s grace to fulfill the assignment He has given us.

“And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed.”—2 Corinthians 9:8

• We will walk in humbleness before the Lord and man. When we make mistakes, we will confess our sin. We will help each other and hold each other accountable.

“(Living as becomes you) with complete lowliness of mind (humility) and meekness (unselfishness, gentleness, mildness), with patience, bearing with one another and making allowances because you love one another.”—Ephesians 4:2 AMP

• We will embrace this new season God is taking us into with open hearts and a willingness to take a stand for a moral revolution, walking in purity, grace, righteousness and mercy.

“And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint.”—Galatians 6:9

I am reading again the famous book by Andrew Murray on the book of Hebrews, The Holiest of All. Years ago Michael read it and was greatly impacted. Because of its affect on him, I read it, or started to read it, when he had finished. I am a little embarrassed to admit that reading it was drudgery then. (In fact, I don’t think I finished it.) But I picked it up again at the beginning of this year and there is so much LIFE in it this time!

For instance, Murray writes, “His faithfulness is our security,” What a powerful statement! Jesus is faithful to the Father and faithful to us. While He was on the earth we saw Him do all and only what the Father told Him to do. He never failed in any obedience and He never added to His assignments. He did exactly what the Father told Him to do. What perfect submission! What absolute faithfulness!

Because we witnessed His faithfulness to the Father, we can trust His faithfulness to us. He will do everything He promised. It is His Nature to be faithful to the Father and to His word. He will complete what He started in me. He will never leave me. He will never forsake me. He will always sustain me. He will always provide for me. He will always protect me. This means

• when I don’t feel His presence my feelings are deceiving me;
• whatever I don’t have, I don’t need;
• whatever I am facing will eventually benefit me;
• when I am weak He is strong in me;
• when I am fearful I have forgotten these things.

His faithfulness is my security.

I am completely dependent upon Jesus, and even that brings me security because He is faithful and He is strong. With all my life I trust Him.

I’ll bet you’ve never thought of yourself as a theologian. Even if you’re like me and have spent many hours studying the Bible, I’ll bet you would never apply that word to yourself! “Theology, most of us would agree, should be left to professionals and experts — those with the credentials and know-how to handle it safely and correctly, who will make sure the rest of us don’t get into trouble with it.” That last sentence is a quote is from a book I am reading entitled When Life and Beliefs Collide: How Knowing God Makes a Difference written by Carolyn Custis James. Carolyn is one of those “professionals” who has a seminary degree, but she takes strong exception to the statement I quoted from her Introduction. Carolyn’s idea of theology is that it is the natural consequence of knowing God and growing in that knowledge through a relationship with Him and through studying His Word, the Bible. That means that “anyone who believes anything about God is a theologian of sorts.” (Another quote from her introduction)

Life experiences tend to uncover whether we are good theologians or bad ones. We come on difficult circumstances and we either fall apart or we go through with an abiding peace, depending upon what we know and have experienced of God in the past (or what we learn of Him as we look to Him in the hard time). That’s theology. Painful things happen to us beyond our control and we either become resentful of people and bitter toward God or our trust and belief roots go down deeper into the soil of God’s love as we lean on him and learn of His faithfulness. Again, our reactions to life are the consequence of our theology. As Carolyn James says, “Not only am I a theologian but it truly does matter whether I’m a good one.” In other words, if I don’t know Who God is, how can I trust Him when life catches me off balance?

Sometimes we avoid asking God hard questions because we are afraid He won’t be able to handle them. Amazing that we feel this way, but we sometimes do. I used to skip over passages in the New Testament that address the role of women. The passages angered me and I was afraid to ask God about them. It seemed better not to question Him than to risk having Him answer in a way that was not acceptable to me. (Did you catch the arrogance of that? — that GOD should be acceptable to me??) Down at the bottom of my soul was this very important unanswered question: what if God really does value men more than women? Unconfronted, that question loomed like a dark cloud over all my reactions to life and made it virtually impossible to trust Him, especially when difficult circumstances arose.

Needless to say, God did not let that question lie buried beneath my fear! When it finally bubbled to the surface in my 20’s after 6 miscarriages, I began a journey with Him that has brought incredible security, honesty, and pure joy to my life. There is not enough space and room here to tell you how He answered me, but much of that story is in my book, In the Beginning. Of course, new questions arise all the time, but I have learned that God can handle the most difficult questions my soul can devise! He is bigger than all my questions and able to handle all of my doubts. In the end, each time I expose my question to Him, there is that familiar place of rest reserved for me against His breast. It is never He who withdraws from me anyway. He knows everything in my heart before I do and loves me just the same. When I acknowledge my doubt to Him then He always shows me the way through, back to the place of rest in Him. Sometimes He gives me understanding and sometimes He doesn’t, but He always restores me to resting in Him.

So I guess, Carolyn James, that I am a theologian too. I know God — not as much as I want to know Him, but more and more all the time. I pray that God will give all of us the courage to not only acknowledge our theology but to become GOOD theologians through the application of His word. As Carolyn said, “Not only am I a theologian but it truly does matter whether I’m a good one.”

Christmas was a relatively quiet time for Michael and me. All of our kids are adults now and married and it was the in-laws’ turn to get them for a holiday. There was a bit of a temptation to get depressed over the alone-ness for us, but we prayed for God to show us His purposes in this circumstance and to reveal Himself to us in the quietness of the 2008 holidays.

Sitting in church the Sunday before Christmas, God began to reveal to me the real point we are celebrating at Christmas. It wasn’t something new, but He made it so fresh and alive for me that it seemed like a whole new Truth: God Himself came to us! That’s what we celebrate at Christmas, that God came down and dwelt among us as a human being. Emmanuel. God with us. We could not go to Him so He came to us. That’s what that fancy word, incarnation, really means: God became a man and walked around on the earth in the flesh!

God came to us as a man, numbering Himself as one of us, identifying Himself with all our sin and shame and failure, and leaving the glory of heaven and union with the Father to do so. He did this because He loves us and He desires for our relationship, lost to the human race through the sin of Adam, to be restored.

Emmanuel, God with us. God came to us. He humbled Himself even to birth in a stable and life as a helpless baby, child of impoverished humans. GOD did this, the One Who is the Creator of all that is, the One Who holds all things together by the Word of His power, the One Who thundered and roared on Mt. Sinai, Who set the universe in order and yet caused it to stand still, the One Whom John envisioned in glory and it knocked him out cold — this Great and Almighty God, King of the universe, came to us as a man. We could not go to Him because of our sin-taintedness. After Adam’s sin, the door into His presence was closed and locked tight with a sworded angel guarding the entrance. So He came to us, took back the keys, and reopened the door for us. And He remains with us now in the person of the Holy Spirit.

Somehow our family’s not being with us made us more susceptible to the wonder of God Himself being Emmanuel, GOD WITH US. What a wonderful gift.

Emmanuel. God with us. Astounding Truth!

When our oldest son turned 13 we decided he was old enough to handle pet ownership. So for his 13th birthday we got him a dog, a black Chow/Springer Spaniel mix.    Our son was thrilled with his dog.   He named the dog Frodo Baggins Jones. 

We have a nice fenced in back yard that the dog enjoyed very much.  Frodo was thrilled with the yard. He had great fun chasing/terrifying the squirrels, lazing in the sun, playing with the children when they were outside.  In the evenings, we would let him in the house in the mud room.  Life was good. 

When Frodo was around 3 years old, all of a sudden, the yard Frodo loved so much didn’t seem that great.  He started jumping the fence and running around the neighborhood.  We scolded him but that didn’t seem to matter.  We started putting him on a chain when he’d run off but that too didn’t deter him. We talked to everyone and tried just about everything that was recommended to keep the dog in the fence. We even got another dog, Baron, for companionship.  Nothing worked. The momentary freedom Frodo had when he jumped the fence was worth it to him to pay the price of punishment. Eventually, we had to get a very strong, very long chain and choker collar in which the dog has to stay on when he is outside.  It’s sad, the dog has a decent sized yard that he could enjoy but instead he’s on a leash.

      One day I was talking to one of my children who, at the time, was going through some rebellion. The Lord gave me the following lesson from the dog which I shared with my child and now you.  Frodo has boundaries that have been given to him by us, his owners.  If he would stay within those boundaries, he is protected, safe and has the freedom to enjoy all of the space he has.  Unfortunately, Frodo doesn’t think these boundaries are good enough.  He wants to roam “free”.  What he doesn’t see is that instead of momentary freedom, if he lived in obedience, that obedience would afford him greater freedom.

  God gives us all boundaries to live within.  When we live within them, we are free to run and truly live.  When we choose to go outside God’s will, His boundaries for our lives, we actually put ourselves in chains.  Those chains can look different.  They can come by way of sin and its consequences, woundedness, loss of relationship with God and the list goes on and on.  God longs for our hearts.  If our hearts desire is to serve Him, those boundaries won’t be seen as walls rather as a place of security.

Today’s post comes from a dear friend of Wellspring Ministries, Marsha Woodard.  She has dedicated her life to reaching the unreached with the message of Jesus Christ.  She is also a mentor and good friend to many of us!  She so graciously agreed to write a post for this blog at the last minute and, believe me, you will not be disappointed.  She is a gifted teacher, and her love for God and His Word are contagious.  Read on if you want to catch it!!

Some reflections for Christmas 2008…

I’ve worked in quite a number of countries, some poor, a few a bit unstable, and our teams usually develop crisis plans.  Even here in the U.S., after 9/11 and Katrina, we’ve been taught to be “ready”.  One of the questions is:  If you had to rush out of your home in an emergency, what would you take?  (Your limit:  a small shoulder bag.)  For me, as a missionary and frequent traveler, the answers are simple—once people and pets are safely out, my priorities are my passport, my purse, my study Bible (28 years of margin notes!), and if possible my laptop.  

I consider that I live rather simply, both at home and abroad, but earlier this week I was faced with my own reality when I volunteered to spend the night at an emergency homeless shelter.  I found myself fretting about what I could or couldn’t take along; it would be a long night awake.  Toiletries; my Bible; a book or journal; something else to while away the time; a pillow?  I didn’t want to take my laptop.  Besides being concerned about theft, a computer would create a distance between me and the guests.  And what should I wear?  Layers of comfortable clothes in case of chilly temperatures.  And not the new boots I had splurged on recently.  Should I wear earrings?  Make-up?  

And as I thought about what I could carry there in a small bag, I began to wonder how much these ladies could carry around with them, and what they would choose.  Actually, you’d probably be surprised that most of them have cell phones!  (I had taken mine in case of an emergency.)  Several of the ladies had library books (one had more than half a dozen in her bag.) All, I was glad to see, had warm coats.  (The shelters are open only at night, so they spend the days in the streets.) They were each provided with a large plastic bin to leave a few things behind, but they all had a bag or backpack that went wherever they did.  One woman lugged around a large rolling suitcase and a couple of smaller bags.  Another told me that she rented a storage unit.  Most just an oversized purse and maybe another bag.  Whatever—we know they have a lot less than you or me!

Going to the shelter reminded of a life-shaping experience I had 30 years ago.  I had traveled to Africa with my backpack, looking for the meaning of life. (I found Jesus! But that’s a story for another blog.)  My travels took me to a very remote town.  As I settled in, I realized that the contents of my backpack made me one of the wealthiest people in that town.  You see, I not only had shoes (most people had only plastic flip-flops), I had TWO pairs of shoes.  And several changes of clothing.  And some personal items, like books and so forth, that were downright luxuries.  

The apostle Paul told us to be content with food and clothing. (1 Tim. 6:8)  One could perhaps mentally add “shelter”, but in another passage he tells us, “We go hungry and thirsty, we are in rags, … we are homeless.” (1 Cor. 5:11)  And Jesus said, “The Son of Man has no place to lay His head.” (Matt. 8:20)  Wow!  So have you ever stopped to think what are really our  basic necessities?  And what/how much do we need to feel content?  God has blessed us so abundantly (not just financially, but if you live in the US, certainly financially), and it is good to take stock.  I once asked a discipleship class to fill in the following columns:  absolute necessity; useful or important; a luxury.  Let me just say that these young people had a LOT more than food, clothing, and shelter in their “necessity” lists and, Bible verses or not, could not be talked out of them!

As we are bombarded by media moanings on the financial downturn, and Christmas ads flooding us with the “Buy! Buy! Buy!” message, let’s walk in the opposite spirit – a spirit of trust and gratitude.  Can I ask you to copy out the following verses and meditate on them over the next few days?  Perhaps you and your family can discuss them, and make your own lists of your belongings, dividing them into the three columns above, or simply “necessities” and “added blessings from God”.   Will you pray together that He will give you a grateful heart?  Remember that only He can change our hearts.  May God bless you richly this Christmas season as you celebrate His goodness!

“Godliness with contentment is great gain.  For we brought nothing into the world and can take nothing out of it.  But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.  People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires . . .  For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. . . But you [woman] of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance, and gentleness.”  (1 Tim. 6:6-11)

We have talked about this idea of the “mother heart of God”, the passion with which we pray and where it comes from and not allowing it to cross over into the sin of anxiety and worry.  Now let’s look at another woman just like us from a long time ago.

There are seasons in a woman’s life when the intensity to have children can be almost unbearable.  When I read 1 Samuel, I see such a desperate woman in Hannah.  “In  bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the Lord.” (1 Sam. 1:10).  “And she made a vow, saying, ‘O Lord Almighty, if you will only look upon your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life . . .” (1 Sam. 1:11).

The Lord did give her a son and she named him Samuel saying, “Because I asked the Lord for him.“  After the boy was weaned she took him and dedicated him to God.  He was given to Eli the priest to live and serve in the temple always.

How was she able to do this?  Can you imagine yourself taking your child at the age of 3 or 4 and leaving him with an old man, who hadn’t proved to be such a good father to his own sons?  A person that you didn’t know all that well living in a big and drafty old temple. To live there with him and serve God all of his life. This was her only son whom she had wept and prayed for.  How could she know if God would give her more children?  She didn’t at the time.  Her devotion to God and her integrity of a promise given and a promise kept was strong in her.  But how?  God had a plan from the beginning.  She could not have known the mighty man of God her Samuel would become.

Hannah had determined from the beginning and was committed to the dedication of her son to the Lord.  She had made her mind up from the start that she would let him go.  Part of this was coming from her immense gratitude toward God for answering her prayers and from the importance of a vow kept, a promise given.

When we dedicate our children to the Lord in front of the congregation when they are babies, are we not doing the same thing?  Are we not promising God that we will be a good steward of the child He has given us?  That we will teach him/her the ways of the Lord. To fear, praise and honor Him.  To live for and serve Him all the days of their lives.  We do this ceremoniously and symbolically.  But do we do it from our hearts with the passion and dedication that Hannah did?  Or, for that matter, the way Jesus did for us?  Part of honoring our vow to God not only has to do with teaching and training, but has to do with giving them up, letting them go into the hands of God to fulfill the plan He has for their lives.  It requires a sacrifice. It requires our trusting God to know what’s best for our children, no matter what it looks like with our eyes.  After all, does He not know them better than we do?  Didn’t He form them in our wombs?  Every atom, molecule and cell, knitted together in the secret place.

I believe the Lord gave me this word as much for myself as for anyone else.  It’s okay to have this passion and concern for your loved ones. There have been times when I have beat myself up, and the enemy has too, for the anquish and passion I have had for my children to walk with God.  For the incessant and devoted prayers, the praying without ceasing, the weeping, the holding God to His promises - but I now know that I am simply a reflection of my Father.  In the midst of all this fervent praying He has and is giving me, and will give you , the grace to let go.

To Sons and Daughters

I have had an interesting past few years in my family.  After Joseph and I got married 6 years ago, we returned from our honeymoon to the news that my dad was moving out of the house and getting separated from my mom.  Two years later they were divorced.  It was and is one of the most difficult things I have ever had to go through.  To watch one’s dad give up on God, after years of knowing Him and pursuing Him, is just plain hard.

Since God works everything in my life out for good because I belong to Him and love Him (that’s what Romans 8:28 tells me), this difficult and painful situation has turned out to be one of the best things that has ever happened to me.  I’m not saying that it’s ok to divorce because it will be a chance for your children to experience something great, so don’t misquote me!  I am saying that God, The Great Redeemer, has a habit of taking broken things and making them whole and strong again.  Wayne Grudem, in his book Christian Beliefs, writes, “The story of the human race, as presented in the Bible, is the story of God fixing broken people living in a broken world.”  Whatever hurts us, disappoints us, or breaks us is a chance for God to fix us.  And when He fixes us, it is unexpectedly glorious.  It’s like a bunch of ashes turning into something beautiful.  Only God can do that.

In Joshua chapter 5, we see the story of the Israelites crossing over the Jordan River, into the land that the Lord had promised years before.  Verse 2 says, ”At that time the Lord said to Joshua, ‘Make flint knives and circumcise the Israelites again.’  So Joshua made flint knives and circumcised the Israelites at Gibeath Haaraloth.”  Verses 4-8 of the same chapter tell us why the Lord said this to Joshua.  I’m going to paraphrase it for you.

God made a promise to a bunch of people (His people, the Israelites) that if they would trust Him and stay devoted to Him, He would lead them into a place that was better than they could ever dream about living in.  But for 40 years, the people did not stay devoted to Him, they turned from Him, wandered around in the wilderness, and never arrived in the Promised Land.  They died, but their children, who had been born during those 40 years, lived on.  Here is Joshua, and God is telling him to circumcise them.  Their fathers had been circumcised, or set apart, but then they disobeyed God and He vowed not to let them enter the Promised Land.  So God “raised up their sons in their place” (v.7).  And their sons were the ones who crossed over the Jordan that day and entered into the Promised Land God had sworn to their ancestors.  But they had to be circumcised.  Can you imagine?  I would’ve been so mad at my father and everyone else’s father for giving up back there in the desert!  They had a chance to trust God and they blew it, and now here were their sons having to pay for their mistakes.

If you are a son or a daughter of someone who has given up on believing in the goodness of God and the perfection of His ways, I would love to encourage you to compare your story with the story here in Joshua 5.  Often, when one generation gives up and messes up, the second generation will have to face the battle the previous generation never won. Perhaps one of your parents disobeyed God and is not living in the peace of the “land” God promised.  And here you are, a son or a daughter, choosing to follow hard after God.  And you’re having to face some battles that your mother or father never quite finished.  Getting across to the Promised Land can be painful.  That last step, the circumcising part, is probably the most painful.  For the Israelites in Joshua chapter 5, it was a physical circumcision.  For us, the circumcision happens to our hearts.  Maybe you feel like your heart has just been cut to pieces.  Don’t forget that God is on your side – He wants you to win, and He wants you to walk in freedom. Whatever happens He will work for our good, and we are wise to embrace it as a chance to know Him better.  The circumcision will not last forever.  Whatever God is cutting away from your heart (it could be dependance on things other than God, insecurities, alcoholism, deeply imbedded fears, a spirit of poverty, anger, or anything else that has been a “stronghold” in your family), whatever He is setting you apart from and for right now, will someday not be an overwhelming battle anymore.  We will be fighting the good fight of faith until the day we die (I Timothy 6:12), but that doesn’t mean that we can’t face the giants that have plagued our families, and win the battle!  It really can stop with us!

Look what happens in Joshua 5:9 after the sons have been circumcised, “Then the Lord said to Joshua, ‘Today I have rolled away the reproach of Egypt from you.”  The Lord will roll away the shame of your past.  It will not hang over your head.  It will not be passed on to your children.

Don’t give up.